He Knows What I Need

For some years now (and only publicly admitting this in recent years), I have been wrestling with anxiety. I have always been taught that choices matter. In fact, that is what we teach our kids. If my son refrains from sticking an object in the electrical outlet, he will not get electrocuted. Or, a little less extreme, if we lay out our clothes and pack our bags the night before, the next morning will go smoothly and we will be less likely to forget something important. Those are good rules by which to live, but somehow, I got into a habit of thinking prior planning or good choices always lead to positive results. Well, we all know that that is simply not the case. For me, sometimes, when things have not necessarily worked out as planned, well…I have kind of freaked out.

So, in God’s care for me, He continues to show His mercy, grace, patience, and kindness to me. He continues to remind me that I do not need to be anxious. He’s got me. He provides everything I need. This past week, I had a bit of a health scare. While things seemed to check out, there are still some unknowns as to why I had the scare in the first place. Admittedly, this has left me a bit uneasy. In the midst of this scare, we (my husband and I) were making plans for one of my best friends to come and visit. For a moment, it seemed as if that would not be a reality, but as it turns out, she was able to come. I knew it would be good to see her, but I did not know how good. Getting a good hug from her, talking, listening, laughing and (she) helping to get breakfast on the table for my kids was good medicine for my soul.

Our visit was only a bit over 24 hours long, but through that visit, God filled me up. I was refreshed. I felt understood. I felt encouraged. A lot of times, we think we know exactly what we need. For me, in this instance, I would have really liked answers to the unknowns related to my health scare. But God created us. He knows us. He created me. He knows me. And, He knew exactly what I needed. In His infinite wisdom, He knew that I needed more than answers. I needed to be reminded of His presence and reminded that He provides what I need at just the right moment. My dear friend, perhaps unbeknownst to her, served as the hands, feet, and ears of Jesus this past weekend just by visiting me.

In Luke 12:22-31 (ESV), Jesus tells his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek His kingdom, and these things will added to you.

My prayer for you and I, this week, is that we will look to God, who loves and knows us best, to provide our every need. And then, watch, in awe, how He does exactly that!